Every time I hear the news of a relative of mine passing away, my mind immediately runs through the fact that how life changes once our loved is no more there to be loved, or to love us…
The loss does not hit us immediately tough, after a few days or weeks is when the reality actually stars to sink in.. The person is gone forever, they are not coming back like they used to when he/she left for work or an outing. You will miss them!! You miss them in the times you’d like to share, you’ll miss them in your sorrows and happiness, you’ll miss them smile, you’ll miss them laugh. You’ll miss them in tiny moments of your life..
And in times like these when you are already in grief for the loss, people will try to console you with words like “give it time, you’ll get over it” or “stay strong” or they will give you hope by saying “they are somewhere watching you”. But the truth is, nothing said will help you stop missing them.. It will hurt!
We hide our tears when we say their name,
But pain in our heart is still the same.
Although we smile and seem carefree
There’s no one who misses them more than we…
I know, it might seem harsh when I say you don’t get over it or it hurts and you’ll miss that person.. But that my friend is a self learnt fact. No matter how hard we try to forget but they will be remembered, not because they died and we have to, but because you loved them.. With time we just learn to avoid our pain. It’s a curious thing how it works, how elaborately and unconsciously careful we are to protect our most delicate parts. Instinctively, the spider spins the web; just as automatically the human shields the heart.
I always thought the best medicine to sorrow is anger. We get angry that we did not do anything that could have saved the person.
Sometimes we even get angry on that person because they left us alone so soon. We vent our anger on others and sometimes ourselves without realizing that death is inevitable end to the journey of life. And one day or the other we too will be facing the same thing as someone who left us…
I don’t know what dying feels like. Maybe no one will ever know how one feels when one dies. It might be as easy as you turning off a light switch, or it might be something unknown. But I’m sure of one thing, it is not easy for the ones around you… You grieve!
The reality is, you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same again.. Nor would you be the same, nor should you want to..