Those mixed feels…

Maybe it’s because I’m listening to some vintage songs, or the fact that I’ve spent the last 30 minutes wistfully looking through old pictures of my family and friends, but here I am, back at the keyboard, taking on a subject that has been weighing on my heart all week.

I’m not going to lie…I found myself lying awake at 2 AM last night, with this pit in my stomach. And no…it has nothing to do with the nerves of excitement I may feel about my day tomorrow.  Or the trepidation I feel about the fact that men are becoming prisoners of technology…

It was because, recently, my feelings have been questioned by a few people.

And I’m going to be really honest here…it hurt.

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Please don’t read this as a cry for affirmation or attention or fishing for praise or anything like that. This is just me, being open and painfully honest with my friends and hoping in times like these this piece of writing will help them too.

The events in the past week made the situation take a 180 degree turn. And it has left me with a jar of mixed feelings. So it hurts when you are not sure about things yourself and someone comes out of the blue and asks how you feel about the whole situation. Have you experienced something of similar sought?

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Having mixed feelings often causes confusion and can leave you feeling uncomfortable, exhausted, and stuck.
The term “mixed feelings” has multiple and often competing emotions about a person or situation. This according to people occur because one has encountered a new person, a new situation, new behaviors, or new information to process.

Hold on! Having conflicting feelings does not only apply to a romantic relationship or a brand new relationship. These feelings can happen with a friend, family member, or co-worker as well, someone you already know very well. Take an example that might be when you love and admire your best friend because she is caring and kind. Yet you simultaneously feel jealous, because she is popular and holds the attention of those around her. Confusing right?!

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Yes, all of us come across such kind of feelings on regular basis and no there is no escaping them. Feelings will come (obviously that is why they are termed “Feelings -the ones you feel”) but to overcome those or make sense out of them is totally up to us.

In order to deal with mixed feelings toward someone or a situation, you need to identify your own feelings, look for a solution, and ask for help when you need it.

Every one of us deals with situations in different ways, but here are some tips that can come in handy when dealing with the terrible scenarios of mixed feelings (these help me every time):

  1. Identify your feelings: I know it sounds odd saying that we need to understand what you are feeling (you wouldn’t have called them mixed if you knew what they were) but that is the only way you’ll get out of those. The process is quite simple:
  • Take a deep breath
  • Forget what is happening around you and relax
  • Now that you are relaxed, think about what led you feel the way you are feeling right now
  • Find the source for your unrest

It will be difficult but once you are done with identifying the second step will be easier for you.

  1. Look for a solution: Since you know the cause you can work on a way to eliminate it.

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Are those feelings because you like someone? Well the answer is self-evident- go tell that person. Are those feelings because you are unhappy with your career choice? If yes, why not find something that makes you happy!

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  1. Ask for help if you need: Sometimes the best answers come to us when we talk to people. Not necessarily that you go to a person and crib about your feelings and your state of mind. Start with the generals, talk about random stuff, talk about what happened and how it affected you, tell them how you are trying to cope with your situation and it is in these moments of conversation sometimes the solution pops up in your mind.

You may or may not agree to the person’s advice but talking makes the condition lighter for you.

In the end I’d like to say only one thing

“Feeling unsure and lost is all part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time.”

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P.S: All the crazy feelings of the past week actually made some sense to me while writing this.Because I remembered a talk with my friend, he said “Give time some time and it will all  be fine”
-Nithi 🙂


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