I have often come across the quote “Everything happens for a reason” and every time I hear someone saying this to me to make me feel better, in my mind I think “Really?! This strange occurrence that is making things worse for me has a reason?” People tend to say this as a declaration that even if things may not seem good or random right now somewhere down the line everything will make sense. Everything will fall in place where it has to be. Everything will eventually work out.
I suspect that when most people say, “Everything happens for a reason,” they mean “Everything happens for a GOOD reason.” But we live in a universe of limited resources, so it’s almost impossible for something to be good for one person without hurting someone else. Frankly, I think “everything happens for a reason” is — most of the time — something people say to comfort themselves, without thinking it logically. It really doesn’t mean much more than “It will all turn out okay in the end.” Which is fine.
But since we are talking about it, have you ever wondered it may not be some reason working behind it but it simply it is result of your choices?
The human mind can adapt to almost anything, but not chaos. No one can lead a completely random and chaotic life. The messy room of a teenager may look completely chaotic, but even there a decision was made. The choice was to be messy rather than straighten up the room, and as long as choices exist, true randomness isn’t in charge.
Yes I do not disagree that there are random events in Nature. It’s hard to square the randomness in Nature with the incredible orderliness of human thought. In the last few days I’ve been thinking how to break this habit of convincing myself that everything happens for a reason and believing that there are meaningful coincidences and start taking ownership of my own actions
This is a perfect point to say that, since “meaningful” has a purpose and “coincidence” is by definition random. What often accompanies experiences of synchronicity is a feeling of trust. The synchronous event seems to reveal to that there is a meaning, purpose, and direction “out there,” somewhere in a mysterious domain where the event was organized. This is what is meant when people say “Everything happens for a reason” – synchronicity is a reminder that randomness is being countered. But saying that everything happens for a reason isn’t provable. It exists as a shared belief, an article of faith, or wishful thinking, and sometimes all three.
Life isn’t about both things, an apparent orderliness and a lot of messiness at the same time. It’s orderly for a teenager to go to school every day; it’s messy to keep your bedroom a shambles. The key word, I believe, is “appearances.” Things can appear random when in fact this is true only in appearance. Creative people appear to muddle and mutter while they are actually searching for their next inspiration. To someone who can’t read, letters on a page appear to be randomly chose when in reality they are precisely ordered.
This basic notion that appearances can be deceptive leads to some very intriguing possibilities.
- Our main difficulty may be our narrow perception. We look at unpredictable events and label them as random because we don’t see the whole picture. If you put a close-up lens on a painter’s palette, his brush dives for various colors at random, but if you use a wider lens, you see the picture he’s actually painting, and it’s totally orderly.
- Randomness itself may be a false front. I had read somewhere, “Nothing in Nature is random. A thing appears random only through the incompleteness of our knowledge.”
- Because we can’t explain ourselves to ourselves, we devise stories to do the job for us. Without a story, life would be uncomfortable in its unpredictability.
- The way you explain your life, and every event in it, derives from your story. In essence, you are your story.
Having gotten this far, we reach an intriguing conclusion. People’s stories contain a mixture of order and chaos, so it may be that reality is completely orderly and meaningful, the only difference being how much orderliness we choose to bring into our lives. In other words, the reason that synchronicity smoothens the way for one person and not for another depends upon them.
Everything happens for a reason if that’s how you perceive life; you allow the underlying meaning to express itself. You hold back chaos by trusting in orderliness. Trust isn’t sufficient, not by any means. It’s just one ingredient. The larger picture is about setting up a partnership between yourself and larger, invisible forces. They aren’t mystical forces but aspects of your own consciousness. The invisible forces include creativity, insight, intuition, intention, and attaining a state of mind where you are centred enough to know who you really are.
In the end I would like to state that don’t just stop at a junction where you cannot find a possible meaning of things happening around and you accept that “this is life”. Question. Question your choice, your actions your beliefs. Question everything. And take ownership of your actions, it is your story you are writing why let destiny or reason be behind the desk writing your story.